You are worried about someone whose cannabis use seems problematic. How do you address this without endangering the relationship? Concrete tips for an effective conversation.
It is hard to tell someone you are worried about their use. Yet silence can worsen the situation. This article provides concrete tools for a conversation that can really help.
## When Is a Conversation Appropriate?
Signs that suggest a conversation: increasingly missed appointments, school or work; significantly changed mood and behaviour; talking about little other than cannabis; friendships or family relationships suffering; daily or multiple-daily use; money or legal problems linked to cannabis.
Important: occasional use that causes no problems is not a reason for a conversation. Don't interfere in the autonomous decisions of other adults when no clear problems are visible.
## The Conversation: Dos and Don'ts
What works (Dos): - Use "I" messages: instead of "you smoke too much" → "I'm worried about you because I've noticed that..." - Ask curiously rather than accusingly: "How are you really doing?" - Listen without interrupting - Separate concern from judgement: "I'm saying this not because I think you're a bad person, but because you matter to me" - Offer help, don't impose: "If you ever want to talk or need support, I'm here"
What doesn't work (Don'ts): - Moral condemnation - Ultimatums in the first conversation - Group interventions without professional guidance - Seeking the conversation during an argument
## When You're Overwhelmed Yourself
Sometimes the situation is too heavy to carry alone. Then professional support for yourself is appropriate: addiction counselling for relatives, Al-Anon/Nar-Anon, or the Telefonseelsorge: 0800 111 0 111 (free, anonymous, 24/7).
About this article
Written and reviewed by the BlattWerk e.V. editorial team — licensed cultivation association in Hildesheim. Our articles are based on current legislation, scientific publications and our practical experience as a Cannabis Social Club.
Last updated: 2026-06-17 · Found an error or something missing? Let us know
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